whew

This is me coming to terms with my inability to write. All I ever wanted was a voice thru my love of written words strung, clumped, muscled and sweat stained together to form the voice of the person who is riddled with fear but somehow puts it out there anyway. I have gone over a decade and still believed I don't have a drop of what it takes to follow my dream to write......but who says I have to fit the mold, who cares if I flop and who cares if I don't find myself in a published world. What does matter is that I do this for me and that I find my voice and that is really all that matters. I won't hide anymore from the echoes of my past that tell me nasty negative things that only destroy me when I listen. What happens when I stop listening and start writing?????? Oh yeah freedom to live how I want.....so this is me taking back my life and trust me when I say this - its been a long hard road with a shit ton of roadblocks and detours with heartache, frustration, joy, happiness, grief and sanity finding moments. My goal here is to let it go let it find the spot where it belongs.  Check in here when I can and that will be tough while working 2 jobs but here I go making the first leap I can and blowing my fear up.....so here I come!!!!!!!